How did the new age movement, the hat man, demons and the shadow people help me find Jesus and deliver me from evil whilst embracing God and LGBTQI people.
“The good news if you are LBGTQI and reading this, you don’t need a deliverance ministry to change your sexuality. I repeat – You are perfectly and fearfully made exactly as you are (Psalm 139).”
Rejected by the Church
I never envisaged ever following Jesus. Why would I want anything to do with a religion that is so harmful to LGBTQI people and ironically proclaims this as good news for them (provided they repent and change their sexuality). If you are LGBTQI, you might feel this way too!
This is my first post about the crazy supernatural stuff that has been happening over the past few years like meeting the hat man and the shadow people. Many of these experiences are unbelievable and have made me feel like an outcast even amongst LGBTQI Christians. When I have discussed some of these experiences with others, they don’t believe me, think I’m crazy or simply walk away scared. If this is you, I would encourage you to continue reading because reality from a biblical perspective can be stranger than fiction.
When people mention God, Jesus, spirits/demons and LGBTQI in the same sentence people tend to react like oil and water (repulsed), or potassium and water (bang). I’ve found liberal Christians tend to academically rationalise spirits/demons as mythological stories lacking any modern scientific evidence. Conservative Christians tend to believe everything (they deem) that is bad is the work of the devil; All LGBTQI people are demon possessed and need deliverance; that their Bible translation is the only right one; everyone else is a false teacher; and the Bible is the irreverent word of God (without any error or mistake).
The Bible is a complex book or collection of books, with an overarching story about humanity falling away from God and coming back to him through Jesus. I’ve come to see that your personal relationship with any biblical character changes depending on the lens that you apply to the story and translation used. Jesus is my lens to all scripture because the whole Bible story is centred on him. If you research contradictions in the Bible from an academic perspective, you will find many of them. My faith is not so fragile it is disproved by having inconsistencies. The whole Bible experience is about wrestling with God just like Jacob did.
“Gay Christian”
Sometimes I wonder why God would choose me as a LGBTQI person to speak about these highly controversial experiences that intersect both the supernatural, new age, liberal and conservative camps of Christianity. In truth, I am tired of seeing LGBTQI people being picked on for something they can’t change, especially by the same Christian fundamentalism legalism that put Jesus on the cross. We are all God’s children, and he desires mercy, not sacrifice (Hosea 6:6). The Bible is great tool when used in a group to discuss God’s wisdom in each situation, but less so when forged as sacred weapon against minority groups and other believers. The word of God as the “Sword of the Spirit” is meant to combat lies from spirits/demons that allow us to live in love with God and other people, not control and manipulate them through fear and forcing our will on them. Being LGBTQI is not a choice or a lifestyle. It is who God made people to be. You deny God when you deny LGBTQI people (1 John 4:20).
God has been supernaturally helping me deal with my own sins of pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony and sloth and simultaneously dealing with principalities in the spiritual realm. I tried to pray the gay away in the earlier days, but the Holy Spirit has reassured me I am perfectly loved and do not need to change this aspect of self. I have explored many books and arguments condemning and affirming LGBTQI people instead of shying away from this battle ground. As a now fully inclusive LGBTQI Christian, I don’t subscribe to all arguments made for LBGTQI inclusion because I think they ignore critical context of the biblical stories involving fallen angels. For example: Cult template prostitution is directly related to fallen angel (idol) worship, and it is so obvious once you have dealt with spirits/demons and done any sort of research into ancient deities! You will see an example in this post below where Lilith became one of my spirit guides through Shamanism and my spirit animal as an owl. She encouraged cult temple prostitution in ancient times, amongst many other sins in the bible. The clobber passages make more sense in the context of this idol worship and LGBTQI people become friends, not our enemies. Christianity and Homosexuality Reconciled is a great book which explores the original scripture in Hebrew and Greek, which is far removed from English translations and our modern-day contextual understanding of homosexuality: https://thegoodgospel.com/chr
I am not condemned or attacked by spirits/demons for being LGBTQI or having intimacy with my husband. I’m married in a lifelong, committed and monogamous conventual relationship. The Holy Spirit once rebuked me for agreeing with these demons that my marriage might be an abomination with the words “do not to make unholy what God has made so”.
Are Jesus and the Church the same?
Growing up, I believed Christianity (the Church and its followers) and Jesus were the same. How else could someone have a relationship with a dead man? From a student’s perspective attending a Catholic school, Christianity appeared largely like Coca Cola where participants receive a free pass into heaven. To the non-believer, the Church was large multinational corporation selling a product called Jesus and he was highly profitable in gaining wealth, status and power. My school focused on Lasallian tradition which translated into students receiving detention if they didn’t attend church each week. Love appeared to be the gold standard of performance-based excellence. As an LGBTQI person, I knew I was different from a very young age and always felt very excluded from church life and peer groups because of my sexuality. God still found me and invited me back.
Before my supernatural encounter with Jesus, I was heavily into the new age movement. This is where I met the hat man, shadow people and all sorts of other fallen angels/demons masquerading as my spirit guide(s)/angel(s) of light. Satan disguises himself as an angel of light according to the Bible (Corinthians 11:13-15). Because of these experiences, my journey of faith has been very real, and I can’t simply argue away the supernatural components of faith with academic arguments and science.
Context is everything in a biblical story and if we tell a story and leave out the context and history, then others will misunderstand what has been said and promote a false narrative. This amounts to telling lies as truth and we are all guilty of this to some degree because the Bible’s books are translated from ancient languages in a different cultural context. The challenge I have found with practising Christianity is not making an idol of the Bible in such a way that God is limited by your own understanding of it. Idol worship is essentially a form of pride. God is not a book, and we are not gods nor are we to worship our own creations or the fallen angels (spirits/demons). Avoiding idol worship is a massive theme of the Bible and is the most important commandment to keep according to Jesus (Matthew 22:36-40). We are meant to worship God only.
The Good and Bad News
The good news if you are LBGTQI and reading this, you don’t need a deliverance ministry to change your sexuality. I repeat – You are perfectly and fearfully made exactly as you are (Psalm 139). Many Christian organisations have tried and failed on the deliverance ministry front for LGBTQI people such as Exodus international. Their fruit was rotten, they are now closed and have apologised for the harm they have caused. Jesus said we will know wolves by their fruit and to test everything. It is time to call out poor scriptural interpretations that are used to oppress others, have led to suicide and don’t bring all of God’s children to true freedom. The church has failed in this area with dogma and fear, and it is time for reformation. If you see it, call it out.
The bad news is demons do exist and impact our thoughts and behaviour and therein lies the tension between liberal and conservative views of Christianity. How can both camps be true and correct when their viewpoints seem fundamentally opposed? My Christian journey has been looking for new ways that intersects both camps. All people can become better agents of themselves when they become more like Jesus. I have been blessed with a gift of spiritual discernment which in practice means I have seen, interact with and feel (physically in/on my body) spirits/demons along with the Holy Spirit. When I was baptised, I felt a massive cold wind enter my body. It was surreal. It wasn’t until later I read the Holy Spirit moves like the wind.
The good news is Jesus was meant for misfits like me! He sought out the tax collectors, prostitutes, terrorists, sinners, misfits, etc – Not the rich, powerful and religious hypocrites that didn’t need a saviour. Jesus freed people like me from the spiritual bounds that society and the church had placed on them and wanted me to bear his lighter yoke instead of theirs. Jesus said: “The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. So you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them. Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honour at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and to be called ‘Rabbi’ by others. But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi,’ for you have one Teacher, and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven” (Matthew 23).
How can evil spirits help live in holiness?
Dealing with spirits/demons has taught me to shy away from my worldly desires and enjoy the peace and freedom that comes from walking with the Holy Spirit under grace. When you are physically attacked for sinning it brings a whole new understanding of sin and the Bible – I try to avoid sin where possible because it has real world consequences. When I sin, I will feel spirits/demons around or in different parts of my body like a pressure or force depending on the type of sin. Similar sins tend to occupy similar parts of my body. For example, I will experience tingling on my head when the sin is fear based. I will feel choked around my throat when I’ve cursed someone or spoken ill of them without love. When I shut my eyes and see an orb like dot in my third eye area, witchcraft (manipulation) or fleshly desires like pride or lust are usually involved.
When I ask the Holy Spirit to identify the sin, I often receive an image in my mind of the experience that caused the sin and then realise the conviction is real. I apologise to God and then it all goes away. I have come to believe this is God’s grace and a process to make me more like Jesus – Unconditional forgiveness, but not a licence to sin without taking some responsibility for the consequence (at least in this life and body). I’ve read many Christians argue this view is unbiblical – That the Holy Spirit could never occupy a space with a demon. I don’t make the rules or control how this works. All I know is the process does align with God’s will to make me more like Jesus.
Apostle Paul (who wrote lots of the New Testament) also received a messenger from Satan to harass and torment him. Many scholars have called this thorn an illness or something other than a demon. His solution was God’s grace. Like Paul, I’ve petitioned God more than three times to have these demons/spirits removed, but seemingly God’s grace was going to have to be sufficient. What does grace in this context mean? For one, I no longer follow deliverance ministries or ministers because you end up trapped in the very fear and bondage, they are trying to set you from. There should be less focus on spirits/demons and more on our walk with Jesus who has already overcome them. After you realise how spirits/demons operate, you realise deliverance is a lifelong process to become more like Jesus.
If you are currently suffering similarly with spirits/demons, the hat man, shadow people, addictions or darkness you just cannot break, it is very easy to perform deliverance and seek Jesus and God. It is nothing like the Hollywood movies and certainly not as scary when you realise Jesus has already won the battle. It is helpful if you are baptised, so you have the Holy Spirit to guide you. Simply repent for each sin(s) to God (come out of agreement with the spirit), command the spirit to leave and don’t open that spiritual door again. If you have occult or new age items in your house, throw them out or destroy them. You will also need to start engaging with the bible to understand what constitutes sin. The Bible Project is a great place to start because they have great podcasts and short videos.
Unfortunately, demons are notorious at putting thoughts into our heads that invite them back in if we agree, especially for a new Christian. Question your thoughts and don’t agree with them all. When you get rid of spirits/demons, they will always be looking for an opening to come back. Stay hopeful, as it becomes easier to audit your thoughts the longer you have walked with God. You can just say no, and the Holy Spirit will help you overcome them. God’s promises in the Bible are also an effective weapon to help stop spiritual attacks using the sword of the spirit (his word). When you have a negative thought, just replace it with a promise from God. This is exactly what Jesus did when the devil tested him (Matthew 4:1-11).
When these spirits leave, I’ll typically experience sneezing or yawning, plus peace in my body at the area where they resided. Notably, the one spirit I’ve been unable to remove by myself in the authority in Jesus is pride. This required humbling myself before God (Mark 9:29) by fasting. This spirit didn’t miraculously leave either when fasting, but I did see just how much my pride was clouding my walk with God and ultimately leading to sin in other areas of my life. Sin just means to miss the mark or fall short of what God wants for us. It is said “pride comes before the fall” and I believe my pride issues came from the rejection I experienced from being LGBTQI and the church. Pride was necessary for me to survive and function in the world, achieve success and seek validation away from church.
The Bible is full of human beings in stories doing things that disappoint God. It is reassuring to know most characters in the Bible have been a screw ups (at least by God’s perfect standards) and no one has been able to fulfil the law except Jesus – Not a single human being! This is why by biblical standards we are all sinners and fall short of the perfection of God. It was God himself that solved our sin problem through our own human lusts towards legalism, power, money and control. He overcame them all through self-sacrificial love by letting his enemies kill Jesus and then ending the cycle of death and sin. That’s a great plot twist. Love had the last word over evil, and these demon/spirits/hat man/shadow people were legally defeated on that day. This means we can operate with authority over them when we are a follower of Jesus. God did not give us the spirit of fear, so kick them out of your life.
God’s ways are often backwards to humans at first glance. We see pain and suffering as a bad thing, but from God’s perspective we are being refined like gold in a hot furnace. It has taken me a long time to start to delight in life’s trials especially with sprits/demons involved. I now try and give God the benefit of the doubt that things will work out even if things appear bad right now. The new age movement promised me a lot of things but I soon realised these promises were not reflective of how life works. Faith is simply a decision to trust God because he is good and wise, not because things feel or look a certain way. If you are new to Jesus or interested about him, I would encourage you to look at Sermon on the Mount and let him and the Holy Spirit be your Spirit guides instead of these fallen angels. Fallen angels only come to lie, steal and deceive according to the Bible (John 10:10) and I’ve found this to be accurate once Jesus comes into your life.
New Age Movement
After high school, I sought answers from world and new age religions that promised love where Christianity had failed me. I engaged in many spiritual practices seeking connectedness to something greater than myself.
The New Age movement includes the occult and metaphysical communities looking for love and light through personal transformation and healing. The description sounds very inviting and welcoming until you understand the deception. The new age movement did not reject me like the church did and seemingly offered me answers to my questions. The people were genuinely nice. The church could learn a thing or two from the new age movement on how to show love towards people. I thought I was getting closer to the truth, just through an alternate path from Jesus. Jesus has stated that no one comes to God except through him (John 14:6). Do not be deceived. Test all spirits to see if they are from God (1 John 4).
When I chose to follow God over these spirits/demons, things turned nasty in the supernatural realm pretty quickly. I became their enemy. I would be constantly harassed by spirits/demons, have my head squeezed, never receive a good night’s sleep, have sleep paralysis, have intrusive thoughts and constantly fall into sin patterns that I could not break. God did have a plan of escape though, but I needed to trust him. Trust is hard when you have been rejected as an LGBTQI person your whole life. Over the years I have failed to trust God many times, but each time my faith has grown a little stronger and now I try to trust him even when things don’t appear to be going my own way. God can turn a bad situation into good, and he promises that no weapon (by these spirits/demons) formed against us shall prosper. When things get bad, that is my favourite verse to say out loud as the sword of the spirit. I believe God will honour his promise and make it so, for he does not lie. Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms (Ephesians 6:12).
For clarity, these were the new age practices I engaged in:
- Star signs and horoscopes
- Scribing messages from the spirit realm
- Visiting physics to tell me about my future and receive messages from lost loved ones.
- Studying to be a medium/physical and talk to spirits.
- Engaged in shamanic healing and other guided meditations with spirit animals. My spirit animals were a lion and an owl.
- Satan is described as walking around as a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. The ancient goddess named Lilith is also represented by an owl. Notice the fallen angel wings and snake. In Hebrew-language texts, the term lilith or lilit (translated as “night creatures”, “night monster”, “night hag”, or “screech owl”). I’ve always wondered if the hat man equated with the term night monster. You will notice fallen angels have been around for thousands of years throughout history. They have many different names depending on the time or the region where they were worshipped, but the symbols are usually consistent.
- Satan is described as walking around as a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. The ancient goddess named Lilith is also represented by an owl. Notice the fallen angel wings and snake. In Hebrew-language texts, the term lilith or lilit (translated as “night creatures”, “night monster”, “night hag”, or “screech owl”). I’ve always wondered if the hat man equated with the term night monster. You will notice fallen angels have been around for thousands of years throughout history. They have many different names depending on the time or the region where they were worshipped, but the symbols are usually consistent.
- Soul piece retrieval.
- Paying for drawings/sketches of my spirit guides.
- Engaging in transcendental meditations using shamanic and drum meditation music.
- Opening and activating my chakras and becoming at one with the universe.
- Following the law of attraction.
- Exploring my past lives.
- Having my palm read to describe my future.
- Receiving and performing reiki and other energy work like Tai Chi.
- Investigating my potential originals as a star seed child after being told by a new age healer I was one of them.
- Using crystals to manage mood, spirits and bad energy.
- Numerology.
- Tarot cards.
- Physic surgery.
- Investigating paranormal activity in my house i.e. walls being touched, noises, things moving, etc.
- Praying directly to angels for protection and assistance. We are meant to pray directly to God and not worship angels (Revelation 19:10).
- Spiritual cleansing (sage burning, incense, etc) to get rid of evil spirits. This does not work at all.
- Casting good magic and spells on my life. I was opposed to black magic, but the biblical perspective teaches that all magic is evil.
- Being in an open relationship and exploring my sexuality in previous relationships. I would define this as sexual immorality according to the Bible stories and interestingly Lilith is described as encouraging prostitution, the whore of Babylon and encourages sexual immorality.
- Watching lots of occult type shows like Charmed or Harry Potter, or superhero movies (Marvel) where individuals had magic powers and became their own God.
- Watching many supernatural shows like ghost hunters, paranormal investigators, etc.
- Engaged in divination using a pendulum. The pendulum would swing a certain way depending on the answer of yes or no.
The Shadow People and the Shadow Man
During the height of my new age involvement, I started noticing shadows moving quickly out of the corner of my eye. I would look towards the shadow and would see a misty black blob quickly exit my visual range. Initially I thought I was going nuts until I spent time researching this phenomenon and found this is quite common world-wide. Theories ranged from aliens to interdimensional beings attracted to my negative energy. Energy healers told me I needed to release my negative energy and trauma which ironically was getting me deeper into these new age practices.
In my research, the ancient Indians used to have contact with shadow spirits called Tariaksuq. Village shamans contacted them for secret knowledge and spiritual advice. It would seem these fallen angels/spirits/demons have been doing the same tricks with humanity for a long time. If you want to learn more about the structure of the spiritual realm from a biblical perspective, here are some great videos.
One early morning I woke up and could see the outline of a man with a top hat and trench coat standing in the bedroom doorway. The low light behind him illuminated his black outline. He had glowing red eyes, almost like a vortex of fire when I tried to look deeper inside his soul. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. In that moment I have never felt such fear in all of life, so paralysing that I couldn’t move, and my mind was racing. He almost seemed to smile and enjoy my reaction to the fear I was experiencing.
After the hat man experience, I was determined to find out who he was and what he was doing in my bedroom. At the time I didn’t link him to my involvement in the new age. Finding answers almost became an obsession. I purchased a book about the Hat Man by Heidi Hollis. https://www.amazon.com/Hat-Man-True-Story-Encounters/dp/0983040192 – One evening when I was reading her book. I was being physically touched on my skin and head by these spirits/demons. It felt like a tingling sensation over my skin that wouldn’t cease. The book said to call on the name of Jesus to get rid of the hat man/shadow being. I remember thinking to myself I’m not doing this because I’m not religious. I was already distraught with constant harassment, so I thought what else do I have to lose. I then commanded (out loud) all spirits/demons to leave in the name of Jesus.
Suddenly, my dog (that was fast asleep next to me) started convulsing like he was having an epileptic fit (He did not have epilepsy). I totally freaked out and tried to wake him, but he was unconscious and unresponsive for a short while. He finally woke up and vomited a green bile like substance on the bed. This was eerily similar to the exorcisms on the ghost hunter TV shows. In that moment I wondered how someone called Jesus, who has been dead for more than 2000 years could have any impact these spirits/demons that were claiming to be light and love. I realised I had been scammed because these demons ran from Jesus like I had called the police. If you are a good person, you don’t run if you are not trying to hide something. At this moment, I had no doubt Jesus was real. This experience was eerily familiar to Mark 5:1-20.
There are documentaries, books and even t-shirts about the hat man and shadow people. I understand some people have no interest in Jesus and just want to know who the hat man is. In short, these are fallen angels of the Bible acting in disguise. It is no more complicated than that. Jesus is the only name that will remove them from your life. That should tell you everything you need to know about what is good and what is evil in this universe. Don’t believe me? Command them to leave in his name and see what happens.
Here are some links referencing the hat man:
Movies – https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8438388/
Books – https://www.amazon.com/Hat-Man-True-Story-Encounters/dp/0983040192
Facebook Groups – https://www.facebook.com/seeingHatMan/
Websites – https://thehatmanproject.com/
Turning Back to God
”The soul that turneth after such as have familiar spirits, and after wizards, to go a whoring after them, I will even set my face against that soul, and will cut him off from among his people.” (Leviticus 20). In short, God warns us not to get involved with spirits/demons/deceiving spirits or there will be consequences.
Following my experiences, I lit a massive fire in the backyard and burnt all my new age stuff including tarot cards, crystals, spells and anything I had used in ceremonies. I renounced all these spirits and got baptised. I would encourage you to do the same and encourage God into your life. God and the Holy Spirit promise to bear the fruits of love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22). These fruits align well with the goals of the new age movement. If you don’t see these fruits in your life currently, question whether your guiding spirits are from God and/or Jesus who has already overcome them for us.
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Leave a Reply